Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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