For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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