clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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