The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
