i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
