it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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