Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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