you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
