I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
