it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
