i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
