I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
