HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
