so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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