Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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