You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
What a dumb baby whore.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
