hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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