My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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