i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
