# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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