I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
