I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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