The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
