Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Small penises have feelings too.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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