i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
