So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
