her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Two words: blizzard sex
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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