these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
