you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
