can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I cut my penus on the lid.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
