She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
