Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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