I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
