Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
