i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
