Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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