Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
