You smell like stripper and shame
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
