Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
