The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
