you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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