So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
