It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
