i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
