Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
