i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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