Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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