I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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