I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
