Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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