I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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